There are only two things in life that one can be sure of. That we enter this world and one day we don’t know how or when we will leave it. There. I said it. Not too direct, of course, because nobody likes to talk about these things. Too frightening. Too confronting. Many of us write wills to be carried out after we die, giving very clear instructions on what will happen to “the house, the bank account, the earrings we received for our anniversary, the stocks in the portfolio.” However, when it comes to protecting ourselves while we are alive, we tend to be reluctant. Most of us have heard of a Permanent Power of Attorney (DPOA) known in Hebrew as Yipui Koach Mitmashech. But what does that really mean? A DPOA is a power of attorney that authorizes a trustee or agent to take care of certain matters of a person – be it medical, financial, or personal – if the person cannot take care of those things themselves. It persists when you can no longer make decisions on your own behalf due to illness or cognitive decline. Most of us are afraid of not being in control as we approach old age. However, a DPOA ensures that you can do this even if you can no longer make up your own mind because you have appointed someone you trust and who has your interests first. It may sound like a contradiction in terms, but it’s true. If you explain what you want to someone you believe in while still being able to articulate it, you are still in control. How great is that What a comforting feeling to know that you can still be in control of your life, albeit through a proxy. If you want to have a DPOA for medical, financial, and personal purposes (e.g. where to live), you will need to contact an attorney for testimony. (For a list of lawyers trained in this field, see the Ministry of Justice website at www.justice.gov.il/.)
MANY PEOPLE only request a medical POA for various reasons. This can be observed by a social worker, nurse, doctor, psychologist, or lawyer. Without a medical POA, doctors would not be able to perform the procedure without the appointment of a guardian when God, as God forbids, requires medical assistance such as surgery for a non-life threatening disease. A power of attorney appointed by you would make this unnecessary.
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if (window.location.pathname.indexOf (“647856”)! = -1) {console.log (“hedva connatix”); document.getElementsByClassName (“divConnatix”)[0].style.display = “none”;} But a medical power of attorney is exactly that for diseases and treatments. This does not apply to persons classified as end of life. There is another power of attorney or advance directives for this. Check with your social worker, nurse, lawyer, etc. to make sure you have signed both medical POAs. This cannot and should not be done in minutes. In the event that you are no longer able to make medical decisions for yourself, you and your prospective attorney and other family members must sit quietly to explain your wishes. It is important to know that the power of attorney only takes effect when you are no longer able to make your own decisions. In other words, while you are good and able to make decisions, no one can come and make those decisions on your behalf. Nobody wants to talk about the possibility of not being in control. Very few people like to talk about illness or the end of life. Some see it as a tempting fate. Two people recently came to me to help clarify a medical authorization. Naomi, a vivacious woman in her eighties, made it very clear to her daughter that if Heaven forbids, she could not make decisions for herself, within the limits of the law, and in her case, no heroic action should be taken. Halacha. The second woman, Clara, came into my office with her son. He was in a hurry and asked me to witness the signing. I told him I wanted to be sure he understood how his mother thought and felt. He smiled and replied that there really is no need. It was clear to him that she would not want heroic action or life-prolonging treatment. Why should anyone He certainly wouldn’t do it for himself. At that moment his beautiful mother looked up and met his eyes. “Well,” she said emphatically, “I would expect you to do whatever you can to keep me in this world. I plan to stay here until God decides I really have to go. “And if,” she said, “you don’t think you can take my feelings and desires into account, then I’ll find someone who can do the job.” It is not an easy task to sit down and have this conversation. What is the golden rule? It’s not what your proxy wants in the circumstances, it’s what you want. We are all different. Never assume that our desires are the same.
These are the three main questions you should ask yourself: 1. Who do I want to be my deputy? 2. Why do I choose this particular person (s)? 3. What are my greatest fears and concerns about being sick or unable to work? You need to choose someone who will look after your interests and respect your desires. When you are the proxy, always remember that it is not about what you want for your parents, spouse, or friends. It’s about what that person would want for themselves. Today we are blessed with longer lives thanks to clean water, better nutrition and, of course, advanced medical care. But we all want our longer lives to be healthy. So eat well, exercise, keep yourself occupied – and get the power of attorney to calm you down. Then, in the spirit of Frank Sinatra, you can be sure that “you did it your way”.
The writer is a geriatric social worker in Jerusalem. [email protected]
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